I am far from an authority on coping with grief, but as a family physician of almost 30 years and having some personal experience with grief I feel that sharing some of my experience may be useful. I’ve had a fairly simplistic approach to grief for a long time, and am not completely sure how I came to this point, but it has worked for me and it seems to be well received and appreciated by patients. At least some of this came from the pastor who was a part of my residency program when my first wife died near the end of my third year. I seem to recall talking about this with Becky Sullivan MD, my residency director and mentor during my early years of practice in Puyallup. Still I think the crystallization of this triad of needs to be met during times of grief is something I came to understand and verbalize by talking to many patients over many years.
I believe a major key to getting through a time of great loss is to find a way to take care of our basic physical and emotional needs. I think of these as, “Eat, sleep and carry on.”
Eat: I too often see patients in acute grief with superimposed upper abdominal pain that I am certain is from gastric hyperacidity and not eating. Simply forcing yourself to eat can go a long way towards getting through a period of grief without complicating peptic ulcers or gastritis. I tell patients that they don’t have to be hungry, don’t have to feel like eating, and don’t even have to eat an extremely healthy diet. They just have to force themselves to chew and swallow a reasonable amount of food three times a day. Tradition in many communities, religions and cultures bears out the importance of eating. It is a nearly universal custom for family, friends and relatives to bring meals to the bereaved.
Sleep: Sleep is very difficult for many people in times of great stress or grief. In my opinion this is one of the most important times for physicians to prescribe sleep aides. It is tough to maintain your sanity and move through the rituals, responsibilities and duties expected when you are reasonably rested. In a sleep deprived state this is nearly impossible. Don’t be afraid to ask your physician for help if sleep is a problem after a major loss.
Carry On: This is my way of saying that forcing yourself to participate in at least some of your usual daily activities is very helpful in regaining some sense of normalcy. If you stay home all day, only see others who are also grieving, and don’t force yourself to carry on with your usual life activities it is too easy to become all-consumed by your grief. If you exercise normally continue to exercise. If you go to church continue to go to church. If you are in a service club, a book club, a bowling league, or other routine activity try to get back into that activity reasonably quickly. It can really help as a distraction and start to lead to a feeling that life can and must go on after the loss.
There is much more to managing grief, and I’m certainly no psychologist. Still, the advice to eat, sleep and carry is a good base on which to base your recovery.



The Unexpected Health Benefits of Running
The Unexpected Health Benefits of Running
by Charles Boren
The ancient Greeks used running as a form of training and competition. It was a way to test personal fortitude and improve physical health. Many of the health benefits of running were known even in those ancient times. In modern times, many start running for the same reasons. They run to improve their physical endurance, lose weight and build muscle. While these common health benefits of running influence many to start running, runners are surprised to learn just how extensive the health benefits are. Running improves the quality of sleep, fights off depression and anxiety, and improves joint health and stability.
Sleep disorders affect a surprising percent of the population today. There is good news to those who suffer from them. Running can actually improve the decrease the symptoms of sleep disorders and improve the quality of sleep. It also appears to help people sleep more efficiently. That is, the amount of time spent actually sleeping while in bed increases. Running helps people fall asleep more quickly, toss-and-turn less through the night, and wake up more rested than those who do not run.
The runner’s high is a well-documented phenomenon, and major benefit, of running. This is a unique feeling often reported during long, strenuous amounts of exercise. The feeling can range from relaxed and peaceful to intensely euphoric. It is produced when endorphins flood the brain as part of a stress response to running. These endorphins are the natural drugs of the body. They reduce pain and are responsible for the happy and content feelings similar to many those produced by narcotics. While many runners experience this phenomenon, many do not realize the long-term positive effect that is has. Over time, the regular doses of endorphins to the brain can combat both anxiety and depression. In fact, many studies have shown that following a regular running program markedly reduces the symptoms of these disorders.
A common misconception is that the high-impact nature of running negatively affects the joints in the body. The truth is that running may actually improve joint health and stability. (1) This is done in a number of ways. First, running helps keep excess weight off. Just a ten-pound increase in body weight can cause a 45-pound increase in stress on the knees (2). Second, running causes cartilage to expand and contract with the natural movements created while running. This forces nutrients and oxygen into the cartilage cells. Without this, the cells will slowly die from oxygen depletion and starvation. Third, running strengthens the tendons and ligaments that support and stabilize joints. This prevents injury in the long-term. Overall, running greatly improves joints and prevents the onset of arthritis.
Building muscle, losing weight, and strengthening the heart are the health benefits that motivate people to start running. However, it is the unspoken benefits that keep them running. As a whole, runners have better sleep, improved mental states, and healthier joints. Many runners feel that they are taking responsibility for their health by running. They physically feel better, less stressed and they have peace of mind. This is a reward all in itself.
Bio: Charles spends much of his free time running. On the side he also runs an automotive company, where he purchases vehicles.